When most people think turkey, they think of the North American gallinaceous bird we chow down on for Thanksgiving. But here at Wonderwall, turkey reminds us of people like Christina Aguilera and Ben Affleck. Why? 'Cause their major career flops are unforgettable. So in celebration of the upcoming holiday, we're counting down the biggest pop culture turkeys. Gobble gobble!
15. Christina Aguilera, "Bionic"
After 2006's Grammy-winning "Back to Basics," expectations were high for Christina's sixth studio album. And it's not like "Bionic" was bad, per se. But between
her postponing her tour for unknown reasons and allegations from Lady Gaga fans that Christina was copying Gaga's style, the album was doomed. Worldwide, it only sold 600,000 copies; compare that with the 4.5 million copies "Back to Basics" has sold.
14. Lindsay Price
We're sure she's a really nice lady, but Lindsay Price is TV Teflon. Sure, the pilots she's on get picked up, but how long do the series last? Take her latest show, "Eastwick," for example: Not only was it never picked up for a full season, but all 13 episodes of the 2009 NBC
show never even made it to air. Want more proof of Lindsay's TV turkeydom? "Lipstick Jungle," "Pepper Dennis," "Coupling."
13. Madonna as an actress
From "Shanghai Surprise" to "The Next Best Thing" to "Swept Away," there's no lack of examples of Madonna's suckiness as an actress. Yes, she's one of the great performers of all time, but give her lines and blocking instead of lyrics and choreography and she's a total train
wreck. Thankfully, she got the point after "Swept Away" (could it have been winning yet another Worst Actress Razzie that really drove the message home?). Now we get to look forward to her direction on "W.E." (yay?).
12. "Cutthroat Island"
A box office bomb’s costs exceeds its revenue. By that definition, "Cutthroat Island" wasn't just a bomb; it was a nuclear warhead. Listed in the Guinness Book of World Records as the largest box office loss of all time, the 1995 Geena Davis and Matthew Modine pirate thriller
cost $100 million to make and promote, but made just $11 million total at the box office. Not only that, but it pushed Carloco Pictures into bankruptcy.
11. JC Chasez's solo career
It's hard to live in Justin Timberlake's shadow. But after seeing his solo career explode, JC thought he could do the same. (He was the second-most-popular member of *NSYNC, after all.) But it just didn't work out that way. First of all, calling your album "Schizophrenic" and
wearing a straight jacket on the cover is bound to bring some anger from mental health groups. Also, let's not forget JC is just not JT. Besides, anyone with this facial hair is a turkey by definition.
10. "Coupling"
"Coupling" was about a group of six good-looking thirtysomethings who are either dating, have dated or want to date one another. The UK version was a smash hit, so in 2003 they tried to adapt it for a U.S. audience. It failed miserably (only four episodes aired), but we won't
blame this one all on Lindsay Price, who (surprise!) played Jane Honda.
9. Garth Brooks as Chris Gaines
In 1999 Garth Brooks had begun to develop a movie with Paramount called "The Lamb," in which he'd star as Chris Gaines, an emotionally conflicted rock star. To create buzz for the project, "Chris" recorded "Garth Brooks in … The Life of Chris Gaines," filmed a "Behind
the Music" for Chris and performed on "SNL" when Garth hosted. It all left the public confused, and as a result the album was a bust and the movie went on an indefinite hiatus. No wonder Rolling Stone called the whole project "the most monumentally disastrous marketing idea that mainstream pop had seen in years."
8. "Glitter"
If you've seen "Precious," you know Mariah Carey can act. But back in 2001 when "Glitter" came out, critics were singing a different tune. Reviews for the movie couldn't have been worse, and "Glitter" bombed at the box office. (It grossed just over $5 million worldwide, less
than a quarter of its $22 million budget.) Even the film's soundtrack was a dismal failure: It was Mariah's worst showing on the Billboard charts, and Mariah was dropped from her label as a result.
7. The Spice Girls, "Forever"
By 2000 Geri had peaced out of the Spice Girls, but Victoria, Mel B, Emma and Mel C had enough girl power left in them -- or so they thought. Unfortunately, their edgier R&B sound on "Forever" didn't resonate with audiences, and in early 2001, they officially announced
that they were breaking up. (Forever? Try for never -- or until 2007, when they did their reunion tour.)
6. Lindsay Lohan at Ungaro
Say what you want about Lindsay Lohan's personal life, but the girl has style. So in September 2009, when it was announced that Emanuel Ungaro hired her as its artistic adviser, it actually seemed like a good pairing. But when the collection, designed by Estrella Archs, was
presented that October in Paris, it was met with about as much praise as "I Know Who Killed Me." Women's Wear Daily called the collection "an embarrassment." What? They don't like heart-shaped sequined pasties? By March, Lindsay and Ungaro had parted ways.
5. Prince changing his name to the Love Symbol
Prince was actually born Prince Rogers Nelson, so he actually lucked out in the celebrity name game. So why he would want to change his name to an unpronounceable symbol is absolutely insane. But that's what he did in 1993. Since you can't pronounce the
symbol, people would just call him "The Artist Formerly Known as Prince." On May 16, 2000, after his contract with Warner/Chappell expired, Prince stopped using the Love Symbol moniker, explaining that since he was now freed from undesirable relationships associated with the name Prince, he would use his name again. And all was right with the world.
4. Jessica Simpson's country career
Jessica Simpson's a Texas girl who was raised on country music, so making country music would be a logical step in her career, right? So very, very wrong. While "Do You Know" became Jess's first #1 album of her career, it all went south from there. Less than a year
after the record's release, she and her country label, Sony Nashville, parted ways. Never a good sign.
3. "The Jay Leno Show"
Here are the dismal effects of the 10 p.m. "The Jay Leno Show" and NBC's subsequent flip-flopping: five wasted hours of primetime TV weekly; destroyed ratings for local NBC newscasts; made Jay Leno look like a selfish jerk; made NBC look like bumbling fools; NBC lost Conan
O'Brien. Sure, there's more, but we think that's enough to suffice for turkeydom.
2. "Gigli"
This Jennifer Lopez-Ben Affleck stinker doesn't just make the list because it was so awful that it was yanked from theaters three weeks after release. It's not just on here because it's the only movie ever to win the Razzie gram slam: Worst Picture, Worst Actor, Worst Actress, Worst
Director, Worst Screenplay and Worst Screen Couple. Nope, "Gigli" is mostly on here because it also contributed to the beginning of the end of Jen and Ben's relationship. RIP Bennifer 1.0.
1. Britney Spears's 2007 VMA "comeback"
Where were you when the bomb hit? The bomb that was Britney's 2007 MTV Video Music Awards performance. It was supposed to be her finest hour, her big comeback. Instead, it was an absolute bust. Who could forget that dazed look in her eyes as she basically just stood there,
unable to even lip-sync right while her backup dancers moved around her? But we'd say she made up for it since then, don't cha think?
Posts
Post a Comment